5 Not-So-Fun Things About Living Below Your Means
There are a lot of awesome things about living below your means. I’ve written about many of them over the last few months and you’ll hear them all over the personal finance world as well. Now that I’ve been living below my means for 2 years, I’ve experienced both the fun things and the not-so-fun things about living this way. Some of the not-so-fun things I’m experiencing will be no brainers, while others may be new ideas for you. Here are those not-so-fun things about living below your means:
1. You don’t get to have all the latest gadgets like everyone else does – This is the obvious thing about living below your means that everyone dreads when thinking about living this way. Of course, if you lower your spending, that means you don’t get the latest and greatest iPads, iPhones, 3d TV’s, cars, boats, motorcycles, bicycles and clothes. In an age where all of your friends have all of the new, expensive gadgets, it’s pretty darn hard to be the one who looks like he’s on welfare. Living this way may attract questions like, “What, you don’t have an iPad?” or comments like, “You should really buy a DSLR camera since you like photography so much!” It’s hard to handle those comments in a time where what you have and how you look are closely observed by, well, everyone you come into contact with.
Plain and simple. If you’re going to live below your means, you’ll always look poorer than you actually are. As Dave Ramsey says, when people are making fun of you, you know you’re on the right track. Thankfully, people aren’t making fun of me because I have a nice car (which I regretfully bought before I became financially smart) and an iPhone (which my work pays for). If I were to have nothing now and needed a car and a cell phone, I’d buy a $3-7,000 car and use my 5 year old cell phone. Then, I think I’d get made fun of a little more.
2. When you actually decide to go on vacation, good luck finding someone else who can afford it – This had been a major issue lately. My last vacation (excluding work trips), was two years ago this month when my friend Matt and I went to the Pacific Northwest. This was really the end of my previous financial life of not living below my means. After that vacation, I tightened my belt like a mad man and started living below my means. You can read about that here. Well, two years is a long time and I’m antsy to take another vacation. Do you know what my problem is? I can’t find anyone to go on vacation with me who can pay their own way. Perhaps it’s too much for me to expect to only have to pay for myself, but I feel like that’s pretty standard practice for people at this age. When two or more adults (who aren’t married or in a serious relationship) go on a vacation together, they usually pay their own way, right? Unfortunately, most/all of my friends that I’d want to travel with don’t have the disposable income right now to take a trip somewhere. Bummer for me, huh? My options right now are either to wait until they do have the money or pay for their entire trip in addition to mine. Hmm…. That is a tough one to swallow.
3. Your life looks boring to other people and therefore, you probably look boring – I’m pretty sure my life looks VERY boring to a lot of people I know. Why? Because I live in a run-of-the-mill apartment in a run-of-the-mill neighborhood. They live in cool neighborhoods in the city while I’m in the boring suburbs. The people I know go out a lot more than me. They are always going out to the nice restaurants, enjoying the finest cuisine in the Twin Cities. I’m eating frozen pizzas and leftovers in my apartment. My friends and co-workers take 2-3 trips every year it seems like, going to: Mexico, New York City, San Diego and Las Vegas while I’m hanging out in the suburb over the weekend or working during the week. I lost track of my vacation days (I think I have 2-3 weeks built up) a couple of years ago when I started living below my means because I basically stopped using them. I barely ever take a day off from work. How lame.
So, in a nutshell, I eat at home a lot, I don’t buy any new cool things, I go out to the boring bars for happy hour and two-for-one specials, I live in a boring apartment in a lame neighborhood and I never leave the state (except for work). Yeah, I’m pretty sure that looks boring to everyone else. It’s a definite downside of living below my means.
4. No one wants to hear about how much money you have or save each month – This one I struggle with a lot. Usually, when I do something I’m proud of, I can’t wait to go tell everyone else about it. It’s fun to hear “great job” and “way to go”. It’s usually what keeps me going and striving toward accomplishment. Positive reinforcement from people you know and care about is a great thing! Well, as soon as you start bragging about something like how much saving you are doing and how much money you have, people stop giving you positive reinforcement. Instead, they give you a fake congratulations when on the inside saying to themselves, “Wow, I don’t want to hear another word about how much money you have”. I don’t remember if I ever even figured that out the way I just described. I just felt it right away that no one wants to hear about how much money I have. So, what’s the big deal? Well, that means that after working so hard to cut my lifestyle and save money, I don’t get to brag about it to anyone.
If you buy a new car, you can go drive your friends around in it. It makes you feel great. When you buy a new iPhone, you can play Words with Friends or Draw Something or even Face Time with them. When you buy a new TV, you can have your friends over for the big game. But if you put that money in the bank instead of spending it on something ridiculous and start living below your means, you can’t say a dang word to anyone about it, or they’ll resent you for it. What a shame. It sucks and yes I’m complaining right now. If I can’t say anything to people about it, then I won’t get any positive reinforcement like we all yearn to hear once in a while.
5. There’s no guarantee that you’ll ever get to enjoy the fruits of your labor – Right now, I’m able to enjoy the fruits of my labor. I’m in my late twenties, in pretty good physical shape and have a flexible job. If I decided to go travel 1 month every year or buy a brand new car or treat my friends to a vacation, I could do it and I would enjoy every minute of it. Instead, I’m putting all of my money away for a later date with the intention of being able to enjoy it at a later date. Maybe the enjoyment is just having financial security or flexibility. Maybe that enjoyment will be in a house I will buy from it someday. Maybe it will be saved all the way until retirement, when I will then enjoy it or spend it on my traveling then.
That’s a big maybe. Maybe, I’ll enjoy the fruits of my labor today someday from living below my means. It’s not a sure thing. My dad, 4 uncles and one of my grandpa’s, all died very young. My mom has been struggling for the past year pretty intensely (I hope she recovers very soon). You just never know what will happen to you in the future. There are too many people I hear about who work all their lives and save everything for the future, only to up and have a stroke, die or lose everything out of the blue. Yes, that’s a negative view, but one that could happen. Putting everything away for the future is a risk. Living in the future completely can have its downsides. Of course, living for the present can definitely have its downsides too. I’m not saying I’m going to stop saving money and go enjoy it all today, but I am expressing my frustration about the unknowns of the future. I do want to enjoy what I’ve worked for. Taking all of your potential fun and just stockpiling it for “some day” is a risk. A risk that you may never get to enjoy it.
Category: Learning New Things
This post kinda depressed me because it’s SO right on! I think I do look boring to my friends – not going out a lot, not going on vacations, not having any cool gadgets. But the maybe-you-wont-even-enjoy-it is really the worst! We don’t have kids yet so I can’t even think that our developing wealth would go to them if we died. :/ Thank goodness we have the PF blogosphere where we can discuss these things!
Yeah. I didn’t know what to write about today and was complaining to Andrea from So Over Debt how frustrated I was on this subject and she told me to just blog about it. I’m glad we can talk about this stuff here too.
Emily, Let’s not forget that no matter how low below our means we live, that bigger bank account will not make us happier. Saving money and reaching our goals is a wonderful wise thing to do but it is not the source of our happiness. That comes from the greater things in life that money just doesn’t buy.
Maybe since you don’t have kids you have established in your will that your money benefits some charity you agree with? My will dictates that my money goes into a trust to benefit my half-sister who is autistic. That’s something I can feel good about if my death comes quickly.
Hi Faye,
And believe me, our bank accounts are not large, they’re just growing. We are at an income where most people would be going into debt to finance their lifestyle so we work very hard on our budget to be able to save even modestly for the future. My husband and I are 26 so we don’t have kids YET but hopefully will in the next 5 years.
Thanks for the reminder! I know money doesn’t buy happiness – and I am quite happy, I’m just frustrated at the moment that I want a DSLR and can’t figure out how to start saving for it.
Emily
If money didn’t somehow positively influence our lives, we wouldn’t spend so much time focused on it. Money isn’t the only thing that contributes to happiness, but it is one of the things. My primary motivation for acquiring money is peace of mind. To me, peace is a more sustained and milder form of happiness. It’s calmness. It’s knowing that I can quit my job or fire my customers or dump my significant other without worrying about how I can afford my basic necessities and wants.
Amen to that! That’s the way I feel about it too!
Kraig,
I bet Dave Ramsey would tell you that you are doing a great.
Also your life is not that boring not to people like you and me that understand the pleasure of spending that money in this moment is short lived. Running is low cost and I hardly consider my runs boring
I am currently saving as much cash aside as I can about 60% of my income. Parts of that is going into my Roth. However next fall I am turning 30. I am going on a Mission Discovery mission trip as my vacation as well as my birthday celebration. My birthday wont actually be about me it will be about orphans and showing them love. Also I am in need of surgery there is a conference that is held in November where specialist gather and review treatment options for cases like mine. WHY do I bring all this up? I guess to say all my saving now and thru this summer has a purpose. I doubt Dave would approve of saving to buy myself a couple months off this fall since I will still be a young capable worker. BUT THAT IS just what I plan to do. I am hoping to take 3 months off at the end of this year. Starting with my mission trip and ending with a road trip up to South Dakota and then to Spokane WA to see my to-be newly born niece and nephews. I will probably go back to work in January. I should have enough saved that I will still be debt free as well as having a 1k untouched emergency fund. You are nobly saving for your family one day. I think your future wife will be so grateful for your diligence. But who cares what she thinks, God says that a wise man blesses his family generations deep. You are changing culture in how we view money through your blogs. You are changing the world by first changing yourself. God bless you and keep you.
Wow, thanks a lot for that. That helps make me feel great about what I’m doing. Just what I needed! Sounds like your doing great things for you and others you care about too.
This post is so true! Especially telling your friends about how good you’re doing financially. They never want to hear it.
Haha. Thanks!
I can definitely relate. To my friends and family, my life is pretty boring and they call me a “work-aholic”. I’ve lost track of my vacation days too since I haven’t had a real vacation in over 2 years. Part of the reason is because I can never find anyone to go with either…they are too busy spending money or taking care of kids, to find the time or funds for a vacation.
I agree with your point of view, about living below your means and saving all the money you can. I am currently doing the same, and will be debt free within a few month. But part of me still thinks we need to find a better balance. We should enjoy each season of our lives, and not keep waiting for “another day” in the future to enjoy it. I agree we should live below our means, but maybe we can be a little creative and have some inexpensive fun in the process. I struggle to find that perfect work-life balance. Tomorrow isn’t promised, so we should take advantage of the time we have.
Well said, Carrie.
I think it’s pretty natural that people don’t want to hear about how much you’re saving. Unless your friends really value that kind of stuff, it just comes off as bragging and can seem like a shot against how little they are personally saving. I think your blog is a better outlet to express your pride in that kind of thing. I can understand how you might want to share that kind of thing to justify why you’re not buying the latest gadgets or doing the expensive things with them. Perhaps you just have to find more inexpensive ways to keep yourself happy. Then you will have less of a negative outlook on your lifestyle. It is important to find the right balance of saving and keeping yourself satisfied. You don’t have to spend all of your time working and saving.
Thanks for the feedback, Jeremy. You’re right. I do need to find a balance so that I am happy with my lifestyle. Usually I am, but lately it has just been catching up with me and I’m missing the old lifestyle.
Um AMEN. This is exactly how I feel. Especially about finding people to go on vacation with — NO ONE can afford it and it really bums me out. Then what pisses me off is when they put a cheaper $1000 vacation on their credit card instead!
And sometimes my life feels boring to me. I’ve been trying to reign in my spending over the past few weeks and it’s super sucky. I stay in, I don’t buy nice bottles of wine, I don’t get new shoes =( so not fun.
Bridget, It sure is nice to know that you understand how I feel. It sure can be frustrating, huh?
I do feel like I live a quite boring life compared to some of my friends who are constantly going out and doing things.We just have different priorities. I’m trying to save for a down payment on a house. And its funny how I can’t real talk about finances with my friends or even so much my bf in person, but there are so many great pf blogs out there who enjoy talking about these things. But since some of us blog anonymously, maybe some of my friends are talking about their finances online. Just under a different name.